Purpose Pace

A little bit of my story. I was raised in a Christian home. My parents loved Jesus and loved His church. While battling with addiction, I still adopted their values and made them my own. I went to Bible college and started my career in church ministry. I loved it! I felt like this was what I was meant to do, this was God’s will for my life! Addiction still lurked under the surface. On the outside I was smiley, friendly, and approachable. On the inside I had turmoil stirring. Was my ministry just a mask? A cover up? A facade? Am I a phony? I was living in dishonesty. I was not living by the values I portrayed and taught publicly. Because I didn’t take care of the inner struggle, it would eventually get exposed. Nine years ago, I was approached about immoral acts, and I confessed. I was immediately terminated from my position and dismissed from the church. At the time, I was living in the church parsonage. So, I lost my career and my home (not complaining, sin has consequences). I thought I’d lose my wife/family as well, but she gracefully stayed with me.

A lot has happened between then and now, some good, some bad. Something I learned is that life doesn’t care what happened yesterday, it just keeps going. While trying to find a new life, I never really found myself. I lost my purpose. I lost my drive for Christ. I lost my zeal for making a difference in this world. I allowed myself to be lulled into apathy and complacency. Besides, I tried and failed. What could I do anyway? Who wants to listen to a sin-torn preacher? Church people are supposed to bring hope to the world, not be the problem with it. I was supposed to be the example of following Christ, not the example of what not to do. By the way, I never set out for that to be the case, no one ever does. Sin has a way of sneaking into the vulnerable spots in our hearts, setting up camp, and taking up more space than we intended. All the while it whispers lies in our ears that we believe, and we tolerate it because they always appear to be in our favor. Anyway, I stayed defeated by bad choices, fallout from those decisions, and the lies. When we get to this place we become a victim of our own doing.

A quick google definition search (revealing my secrets and depth) of the word, victim, “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.” I was living in this reality. I harmed myself through not properly addressing my addiction and bad decisions. I allowed that harm to paralyze me. I just wanted to survive. How could I thrive? I have been through some horrendous events. Some were because of me, and some happened to me. Regardless, life is too short to live in the reality of victimhood. I can give a sob story in order to receive empathy from people, but what does that get me? Affirmation of the legitimacy of my inner complacency? No, I can’t live there! God wasn’t concerned with Moses’ past when He called him to lead the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt. God wasn’t concerned about Paul’s murder of countless innocent people when He called Paul to be an apostle. Jesus still wanted Peter to be a blessing to people and spread the Gospel even after his denial. My point is simple. Satan wants us to focus so much on our trials, shortcomings, past, addictions, life distractions, dare I say it, screens that we never see God’s purpose. Satan doesn’t want us to ask the hard questions of life, and many times we ignore them too, “why am I here, what’s my purpose, is there a greater reason to life than just my personal gratification what happens after death?”, etc. Please allow me to ask some questions. What is keeping you from living a Christ-centered life? What excuse keeps you from searching after and following God, as directed by Scripture? What keeps you from following out God’s will for your life and accomplishing something great for Him? I believe there are hundreds of Christians listening to lies, squelching God’s Spirit within them, and being paralyzed by victimhood. Break out! Put feet to your faith! Be bold! Be courageous! Attempt a great work for God! Live intentionally! Live on purpose! Be a person on God’s mission!

Be well my friends! I’d love to connect with you. Reach out to me. I would love for us to encourage and sharpen one another. Also, leave a comment and stir conversation about how you have overcome obstacles in your life, and how the Gospel has affected you. Also, if someone you know could benefit from this post, please pass it along.